We are delighted to confirm that a number of appointments were made yesterday here at the Playa, following a day of recruitment.

Competition was tough and we congratulate the successful applicants who will be taking up their positions over the coming months.

Our first appointment was something of a specialist position but one we felt was very much-needed at the Playa, since we are currently looking to expand further.  Bob, as she likes to be called, will be helping with the massive new building project we have planned over the winter months.  She is VERY experienced in all sorts of construction work, and has been instrumental in helping get some of the largest erections in the world up.

Our next new member of the team is Mintie, who will be managing the brand new golf course for which planning permission is currently being applied for.  Mintie, or ‘Big M’ as he likes to be called, described himself as a ‘Ball-whacker’ which immediately endeared us to him in the interview.  He has vast experience in the world of balls and we feel he is going to be a huge asset to the team.  Welcome, Big M.

Alongside Big M, we are delighted to have Mr Fluffy as our entertainment officer.  Mr Fluffy has recently completed a stint as a Games Master for the Olympics and is well versed in keeping people happy.  He lists several hobbies in his profile but, unfortunately, most of them are illegal so we cannot mention them here.  However, we feel he has all the attributes that make an excellent entertainments officer and we are glad to welcome him to the team.

We are also delighted to have appointed a wildlife expert to the team, who we feel will be invaluable in assisting us with the upkeep of the wildlife sanctuary, which we are constantly adding to.  Some of you may recall the latest addition, a lion, escaped for a short while into the Essex countryside before returning to the sanctuary of his own free will.  We are confident that with ‘Dangerous’ on our team we will not have to worry about any of the lions escaping again.  Quite possibly because he will shoot them.

Below is a team photograph of our new team.  From left to right, Dangerous, Mr Fluffy, Bob and Big M.

Alongside these valuable members of staff we have also recruited a number of other specialists who we felt had something to offer.  Please welcome Ms X to the team as Head of Security.  Ms X was unable to provide us with further details as she would ‘have to kill us’.  We are confident she will provide an excellent service however as she came highly recommended by various East End establishments with dodgy connections.

We are hoping to open a cinema complex in the Spring of 2013 and have appointed a director to oversee things.  Xavier Upyerbum has an excellent portfolio and we are sure he will not let us down.  Owing to some ‘issues’ with the national press last year, involving a page 3 model and a plate of noodles, he was reluctant to be photographed but we did manage to snap him enjoying a glass of wine.

Alongside the cinema complex we have almost finished refurbishing the main dance hall.  Two of our candidates impressed us so much that we have decided to take them on as resident dancers.  Please welcome Patrice and Donald to the team.  This couple has years of experience behind them, as well as being able to dance a bit too.

Finally we were slightly bemused by the final candidate who came asking for a position as husband to one of the interview panel.  We felt that there was not a role for him in this capacity, since he was in fact already married to her, but we have offered him a consultancy position as his credentials were excellent.  If you look very closely you may just see them peeping out from beneath his kilt.

To finish off this update, the management would like to thank all those who attended for interviews and congratulations to all those who were successful in securing a position.  We welcome you to the team and hope we can continue to provide the exceptionally high service that our customers have become used to.

Well done Team Playa!!!

(Below is a photograph of some of the team with our patron, Lady Muck (centre), who usually turns up at these occasions in case there is any free wine going).

Thank you to everyone who attended the interviews.

The Management